Making Decisions

My page says “Makeup & More.” I wanted to start doing of the “more.” Tonight I wanted to write about making decisions. Big decisions, since those are the hardest. Of course you can always look at this still under the “makeup” part, if choosing makeup is a difficult decision for you (and there’s no denying sometimes it can be).

I’m not here to say I’m an expert at making decisions, or even to say that they come easily to me, but there are some things that I’ve realized and learned that make things a little better.

When facing a big decision there can be additions to the decision itself. Two common additions I find are fear and pressure. It’s not enough to decide, but you also have fear and pressure lurking around in the background clouding the whole situation over. I try to identify if those additions are present and where they are coming from.

Fear: Fear can push you into a situation as much as it can scare you away from one.

What if by not making this decision it will impact the next few years?  People always say “The worst thing you can do is nothing.”, If you don’t make your move soon the opportunity will pass. What if it’s not the right time? What if I’m not ready?  The problem with being pulled and pushed by fear is that pulling back and pushed into things are opposites. You’ll end up being more confused than ever.

Pressure: Other people being impacted by your decision and their expectations will keep you awake at night. Maybe there’s a time limit or a certain date that you have to decide by.

The minute that you give up the fear, you’ll find relief. The minute that you realize that you’ll get through it and find a way as you’ve found a way with everything up to this point is where you’ll get some clarity. The expectations that you think other people have for you may not exist at all. If they are impacted by your decision chances are they are thinking of the situation from their standpoint and their course of action. Test to see if the pressure you feel is coming from within. For myself that was a big realization : the only one putting these expectations and this pressure on myself, was myself. Time is neutral, in that way it’s nice. It will pass regardless of what happens, so don’t let it drive you crazy.

Another way to tackle a big decision is to not look at is at something “big.” It sounds silly, but it works.There can be a lot of build up surrounding certain ideas and landmarks in life. For example, graduating college and deciding where to go next and what to do. Rather than think “I’m graduating, this is a huge deal. I’m so nervous, what do I do with my life how?” Not to ignore that there is an actual period of adjustment that comes with anything starting or ending, but to realize that some of the nerves come from everyone around you talk about what a “big moment” it is. It’s hard to ignore that. Again, not to diminish graduating college, but to take the expectation out of it. To do the graduating and leave the worrying. Moving may not be a big deal to you, but to someone else it’s a major life event. The point is, don’t let other people tell you what’s important or what you should stress about. Also know you have the power to decide what is worth stressing about. You can let it go and just make the decision without looking back.

Perspective and digging past the emotions that come with decisions can change the way you make them.

 

 

 

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